Geeks shall inherit earth; and Goons shall inherit Nepal !!!


They said: Geeks shall inherit the earth. Yours truly agreed to it, of course since it was said by the geeks themselves. But being a quintessential Nepali, he has now decided to add a condition, post agreement and sans shame (of course).

If geeks shall inherit earth; Goons shall inherit Nepal.

Before explaining, or rather defending his stance, yours truly would like to go in a flashback mode. Eventually, he made a trip to the cricket match again (quite a trip through the capital alleys… oops, roads, especially during the ‘rush hour’, where the only part missing is rush).  On a bright sunny day, Nepal played Malaysia, for what eventually would be its first title in the Under-17 category.

Now, yours truly is a blessed person. Eternally so… For he gets to sit in the press box. Now, the press box is a suggestive term, meaning what it should be (that is all the media people packed in a shoebox), and not what it actually is. Apart from various kinds of people, from almost all genres of life (except work), the press people (commonly known as journalists) also sit in this open box. The press people, for most part, account for half the noise in the stadium, which seats some 10,000 people (give or take a couple of thousand).

As Nepali bowlers were trying to restrict the Malaysian batsmen, the pressmen’s talks could not be restricted. Here, yours truly would also like to apologize for using politically incorrect (but sometimes morally correct) term. The sports journalists, apart from men of all shapes, sizes and moods (mostly queer), also includes the female life forms these days. While some refer to them as beautiful play things, yours truly, in the best politically correct manner possible to him, would say that quite a number of exquisite young beings (invisibly blonde) are also a part of the genre called sports journalism.

Now, we’re in an age where freedom of expression reigns supreme. So the sports journalists here are not restricted to the game, in fact they hardly seem interested in it – or maybe they’re faking it to the passers-by, so as not to let them know how intelligent they actually are. In fact, in his two recent days in press box, yours truly hardly had a moment where these intellectual beings would talk about cricket, apart from his personal favorite – who he likes to term as pseudojournalist, just because pseudo is his favorite word and also because this person acted more like half coach, half player, half journalist, half out-of-asylum nut and half human being, apparently with many halves not present at the same time. Now this person was genius. He exactly knew where the fielders should be kept, which ball was to be bowled, which shot to be played, what kind of dive a fielder had to take – only that everything would come in after the ball had completed its movement. I hope the players never hear him talk in press box, for they might pull him out of press box and install him as a coach (with horses pulling the coach, of course).

Now, yours truly is stumped as to why the number of sports journalists is increasing. Perhaps the cricket lunch is a bigger reason than the interest in cricket. Alas, it’s also probably the same with the audience, otherwise how do we explain what we saw at the end of the match. Almost everyone, with exception of a few sane heads, entered the ground. Poor young players could hardly blink before they were covered. The unruly crowd made yours truly think:

If geeks shall inherit earth; Goons shall inherit Nepal.

For if the gentleman’s game is robbed of its serenity by the crowd behavior – which steals the winning bat of Nepali batsman and throws missiles, almost injuring the players he supposedly supports – well Goons shall definitely inherit Nepal. If they don’t inherit, they’ll make sure they grab it.

The enlightenment came to yours truly much after, as a nation, we developed a sense what goon-ism is, and all the benefits associated with it. Traffic, industries, workplaces, government offices, and of course on lonely alleys; you name it, these super species have already inherited it. The latest update on this is, that the threatening someone and punching them, and being nice enough to show anyone gun, and ask for extended co-operation, especially in kind (can’t call it extortion anymore) – jewellery, cash, any valuables will do – has become the most preferred way of social interaction on the day.

As far as the cricket match is concerned, Nepal won with ease. And yours truly feels, the man of the match, and the tournament, should have gone to Cricket Association officials, who have had years of experience seeing this, but did not want to miss the cheap thrill as thousands of people swarmed the players as locusts. Well, is there anyone still alive who wants to know how much the pitch suffered, and along with it, the spirit of cricket?

One thought on “Geeks shall inherit earth; and Goons shall inherit Nepal !!!

  1. ha hah haa… i had a heartiest laugh after six months since i was exiled… very very good sense of humor (politically correct contrary to politically profane) Satire… commendable duplicity of our Nepali Heros (barishtha patrakar haru) … anyway, why not start a Stand-Up comedy reality show in Nepal? there’ll be nothing so ingenious a program for the good health of Nepali’s!

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